How do I get my child to eat their favorite foods again?

This was the question I received from a friend at a recent play date. It wasn’t that long ago that her 3 year old son used to gobble blueberries up. Suddenly, and for no apparent reason, he is refusing to even touch them. She encourages him to try them, reminding him how much he used to love them and how delicious they taste. She makes her best effort to pop blueberries in her mouth with an exaggerated “Mmmm, these taste soooo yummy! Are you sure you don’t want to try one?” Much to her dismay, her son wants none of it.

Coincidentally, this mom’s issue is all too familiar for me. My son has been the same way for almost a year now with blueberries. I remember he used to love eating them and would even make requests for them. Currently, he refuses to put them in his mouth unless they are mixed in other foods, such as muffins or oatmeal. He states he only likes them “mashed” into something. I wonder where his love for this blue fruit went wrong? Perhaps he heard from another child at school that they didn’t like blueberries so he decided he felt the same way. I can make some assumptions, but I’ll probably never really know.

Let’s break this down. This blog post is not about the health benefits of blueberries and why our children should eat them. In fact, it’s not about blueberries at all. It’s about understanding normal toddler eating behaviors and realizing how our reactions to their decisions can influence what our children eat. I may never know what happened to make blueberries so unappealing to my son. What I do know, however, is that he and my friend’s son aren’t refusing blueberries simply to drive us crazy! They are displaying very typical toddler eating behaviors. It’s common for kids this age to devour a food one day, refuse it the next, and then ask for second servings the following day.

The long answer to my friend’s question is that she may want to change her response to him not eating the blueberries. I serve blueberries to my son all the time even though I know there is a good chance they won’t get eaten. In the interest of food waste, I don’t serve as many as I used to, but they are packed in school lunches and served along with other foods as part of a snack. I cook with them and have him help me. He sees my husband and I eating them during mealtimes. Most importantly, I do my best to avoid putting pressure on him to eat them because I know that will only lead to further resistance. I’m relaxed about it and know that with or without blueberries in his diet, he will thrive the way that he’s supposed to.

I don’t know for certain if and when my son will decide to try blueberries again. It’s unlikely that both him and my friend’s son will never eat another one in their lifetime. Maybe our sons will grow up and blueberries will become their favorite food. Perhaps they will try them again and realize that they truly do not like the taste. To my friend who wants to know how to get her son to eat blueberries again, the short answer is this: Take the pressure off yourself and him, keep serving them but stop trying so hard. Know that with or without blueberries in his diet, or any other food for that matter, your son will be okay and so will you!